


You Must Be He I Was Seeking

by unrequited_rain



Category: Bandom
Genre: Collars, Community: kink_bingo, Consensual Kink, Face-Fucking, Facials, M/M, Snowballing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-15
Updated: 2012-02-15
Packaged: 2017-10-31 05:53:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/340655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unrequited_rain/pseuds/unrequited_rain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex and Ryan have kinky sex. That's about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Must Be He I Was Seeking

**Author's Note:**

> title from To A Stranger by Walt Whitman

Ryan shuddered at the touch of Alex wiping off his belly and the inside of his thighs, gentle as he was. But he still smiled and curled up against Alex's side when he climbed back into bed. "Your turn next," Alex whispered into his neck.

Ryan closed his eyes and buried his face in the pillow. His mind raced. Alex had been okay with everything Ryan had suggested so far, and had even suggested a few things of his own in the past few months they had been playing this game that had made Ryan's spine tingle and his gut swoop white hot with want.

"Ryan," Alex said quietly. Ryan shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut tight enough that he saw spots. "Ryan," Alex said again, voice stern but still quiet. Ryan shook his head. What if Alex said no? He seemed okay with everything so far, but what if this was the final straw? What if he figured out Ryan was a freak and told people and- "Ryan." Alex's voice broke through the litany in Ryan's head. "Breathe," he said rubbing his thumb in circles on Ryan's shoulder. And then he noticed how fast he was breathing, verging close to hyperventilating. Ryan nodded and took a few deep breaths through his nose, letting them out through his mouth while Alex moved his head into his lap. "I'm going to cover your eyes with my hands, will that help?" Alex asked. Ryan waited for a minute, thinking it over, then nodded. When Alex covered his eyes he let out a shuddering breath, relieved he didn't have to watch and see Alex's face if (when... if) he said no. He took a few more deep breaths and nodded when Alex said "Whenever you're ready."

"I... I want..." his breathing quickened again.

"Breathe," Alex murmured, kissing his forehead. "What do you want?"

Ryan let out a relieved sigh. "For you to, to put a collar on me." He relaxed with each word, like a coiled spring slowly unfurling. "And I want," Ryan's voice cracked. He could hear his heart thumping in his ears, and he was sure his face was beet red.

"And?" Alex prompted. "You can do it Ryan, I know you can. You've asked for so much already, I'm so proud of you."

Ryan's heart swelled and the rest of it came spilling out of him. "I want people to know, I want them to see. I want you to leave marks where they can see, so they'll know, so people will know I'm yours when they see them," Ryan babbled and melted onto the bed, like keeping all that inside had been the only thing keeping him together.

"Ryan," Alex moaned, sounding strained before leaning over Ryan to kiss him upside-down. "Do you already have..." Alex trailed off, unconsciously letting his hands trail down to Ryan's neck.

Ryan shuddered at the barely-there touch and shook his head.

"Do you want to go online or..." All the toys they'd used so far had been their own.

"I know somewhere," Ryan interrupted. "We can go tomorrow."

"Okay," Alex said, pressing his thumb down on Ryan's Adam's apple and making him gasp. "Tomorrow." Then he moved Ryan's head out of his lap and slid down to sling an arm and leg across Ryan. "You'll look so pretty," he murmured into Ryan's neck. "All tied up and ready for me, my marks on your skin."

"Yes," Ryan sighed happily as he drifted off to sleep.

~*~*~*~

Ryan drove them into the city, and eventually to what looked like an apartment building. He showed his license to the doorman, who nodded and let the two of them into the building.

Ryan walked through the lobby and waved to the receptionist, who waved back. Alex just followed dumbly and watched as Ryan stepped up to the elevator bank and pressed a series of numbers into a keypad above the up and down buttons. The doors opened and they stepped inside, where Ryan pushed another series of numbers into another keypad. "What is this, the mob or something?" Alex joked when the elevator started moving.

"Not quite," Ryan smirked. "I think the security here is a little tighter. Ms. Rae caters to a very exclusive clientele who value their privacy. You need an invite from a member to get in."

Alex nodded. "Kinky celebs."

"And a few congressmen and senators, I'm sure. I wouldn't know, it's not like there are members only parties."

"So how did you get in?"

"Pete." Ryan shrugged, and Alex's hand gripped Ryan's tighter. "Oh, no, not like that. We've never..." Ryan made a hand motion he supposed was to convey 'hot kinky man sex' or something. "Like recognized like, I think. But Pete's never said who brought him here, or why, and I'm not asking." He shrugged.

When the elevator stopped, Ryan tugged on Alex's arm, leading him down the hall and through glass doors at the end of the hall.

"Hello Ryan," said a youngish-looking woman with cropped brown hair, brown eyes and arms covered in tattoos. "It's nice to see you again. And who's this?" she asked, looking at Alex.

"Alex, this is Mary." Ryan squeezed his hand. "Mary, Alex."

She eyed him up and down carefully, longer than most people would. "It's nice to meet you, Alex," she said finally. "Are you looking for anything specific, or would you just like to look around?"

"I think we're gonna look around first," Ryan looked at Alex for confirmation, who nodded. "And then we want to look at collars."

She smiled at the two of them. "Alright. Just let me know if you'd like to look at some custom options. I'll be here when you're ready." She leaned in close to Ryan. "I like this one, I think he's good. That other girl..." she wrinkled her nose. "Call it instinct."

"Thanks," Ryan smiled and took Alex down another hall and through the second door on the far side of the room. "The first room is videos and cameras. Pretty much anything you'd need to make your own sex tape." Alex grinned. "Yeah," Ryan nodded. "I thought of Jon too. The third room is dildos, vibrators, harnesses; that kind of thing. And the rooms on the other side are all clothes and costumes, for role play and stuff."

"And this one?" Alex asked, hand patting the doorframe.

Ryan swallowed. "Bondage equipment," he said quietly. "Whips, chains, floggers. Wrist cuffs, ankle cuffs, gags, collars." He whispered the last.

"Are you ready?" Alex asked, putting his hands on Ryan's waist and squeezing gently. He nodded and Alex opened the door, sliding one hand around to rest on the small of Ryan's back. They walked around the room like that, taking time to look and play with everything, but keeping in contact the entire time. Alex caught the way Ryan trailed his fingers over a silk blindfold on a bedside table, and Ryan's breath hitched when Alex grabbed a black leather riding crop from the wall and swung it experimentally.

They stopped in front of the collars and Ryan's eyes widened at how many different ones there were. All different lengths and widths, some with a multitude of rings and buckles, some with only one or two on them. There were some lined and unlined, made out of several types of material. Ryan reached out a hand to touch one when he felt Alex settle his chin on his shoulder, and Ryan just wanted.

"Anything catch your eye?" he whispered. Ryan nodded and tried to keep from whimpering. Ryan carefully grabbed a deep brown leather collar from towards the bottom. It was lined with a soft, dark teal material he couldn't name, and was unadorned but for the silver buckle and a silver D ring that would sit just above the dip in his collarbones when he put it on. He shuddered when Alex brought a hand up to his throat and whispered in his ear, "Would look so good on you. Laid out on our bed, naked except for this. Would you wear cuffs if I asked you to?" Ryan nodded and Alex kissed his neck. "And if I wanted to handcuff you to the bed, would you let me?"

"God, yes, fuck, please Alex," Ryan moaned out between gasps as Alex tightened his grip on Ryan's neck.

"How do we buy this stuff, Ry?" Alex's voice was low and growly. He rocked his hips against Ryan's ass, and Ryan could feel Alex's dick rubbing up against him.

"We," he gasped. "We tell Mary what we want, and it'll be in the car when we get downstairs." Ryan moaned and his eyes rolled back when Alex bit down gently on Ryan's neck. "They- they'll charge it to the card I have on file with them."

Alex nodded and found the matching cuffs. They were about through the door when Ryan asked "Can we get the riding crop too?"

Alex stopped and pulled Ryan into his arms. "Yes," he said kissing Ryan hard. "God Ryan, yes."

"They're on the bed!" Ryan called out to Mary as Alex dragged them down the hallway to the elevator. She laughed as they passed her and he could practically hear her rolling her eyes at them.

When they got out to the car, Alex opened the passenger side door to let Ryan in. He shut the door behind him, and Ryan waited till Alex climbed in and buckled his seatbelt before he fastened his own.

Alex started the car and took off fast down the street. Ryan turned to grab the bag out of the backseat, but Alex stopped him with a hand on his thigh. "Stop. Wait till we're home." Ryan tried to hide a smile at Alex calling it their home, but Alex had to have seen; he just squeezed Ryan's leg and left his hand there the whole drive home.

Alex parked the car in the driveway and got out to open the door for Ryan. "Go to our room and get undressed," he whispered. "I'll be right behind you, I promise." Ryan whined but went obediently when Alex kissed him and gently bit the back of his neck.

Ryan went off down the hall, gathering up his clothes as he went. When he got to their room he threw them on the chair. The waiting was the worst part. He tried sitting patiently, but it was hard. He let out a relieved sigh when Alex walked into the room; logically Ryan knew it was only a minute or two, but it had felt longer.

Alex set the bag down next to Ryan and leaned down to kiss him. "So good Ry," he murmured. "So good at waiting for me, trusting me." Ryan melted under his hands. "I'm going to put your collar on, okay?" Ryan nodded and nudged his head into Alex's chest. "Use your words, Ry," he said, tipping Ryan's face up to look at him.

"Yes, yes, please Al," Ryan begged him, hands clenching and unclenching in the duvet. "Yours," he whispered.

"Alright, okay then," Alex said quietly, for the first time sounding overwhelmed and unsure of himself. He'd gotten his laptop out last night after Ryan had fallen asleep and stayed up half the night searching for information on submissives and dominants and collars and slaves, but there was no how-to manual for collaring your boyfriend - or if there was he hadn't found it- and he still didn't really know what he was doing. "Ryan," he said, and pulled Ryan's face out from where he had buried it in his side. "Ryan, do you have a safe word?" All of the sites had stressed the importance of needing one. "Words, Ryan, or I won't put it on."

"Trainspotting." Alex nodded, repeating it over in his head so he wouldn't forget it.

"I'm going to have you face the wall so I can buckle your collar." Ryan nodded and immediately turned around and let his head drop forward. Alex reached around and lifted Ryan's chin so he could fit the collar against his neck. Then he placed two fingers between Ryan's skin and the collar to make sure it wasn't too tight, even though he suspected Ryan would actually like that. He'd save any breathplay for another night, though.

Alex turned Ryan around and his breath caught in his throat. Ryan was stark naked except for his collar and his eyes were wide and dilated so much they were almost all black, with only a thin line of brown around the edge. He looked like he had been doing blow, except Alex knew he hadn't done any drugs but pot since the pictures were leaked last summer. Alex's eyes traveled further down Ryan's torso to land on his dick. It was already hard and flushed red, and was bobbing invitingly against Ryan's stomach. He really wanted to suck it, could feel it already; hot and hard in his mouth, tasting like skin and boy and something distinctly Ryan. But he didn't know if he should save that as a reward or not, so he just kissed Ryan and let his fingers tangle in his hair.

Ryan moaned brokenly and murmured into his neck. "God, Alex, please, please, I want, oh god Alex, please let me," his babbling turning into nonsense when Alex bit his neck.

"What do you want, Ry?" Alex asked, hooking a finger through the ring, pulling the collar tight.

"God," Ryan gasped. "Please Alex, your dick, please."

"Do you want me to fuck you?" Ryan shook his head no. "You want me in your mouth?" Ryan nodded. "Do you want to be on your knees for me?"

"No." Ryan shook his head, eyes closed.

"You have to tell me how you want it, Ryan. I can't read your mind." He tugged at Ryan's collar again and his eyes fluttered.

"I want... I want to be on my back, and I-" his voice broke. "I want you to fuck my face."

Alex bit back a moan at the image. "Lean back," he said unclenching Ryan's fingers from the bedspread. "I'm going to cuff you to the headboard. But first I want you to hold onto it while I get them, okay?"

"Yes," Ryan said, without having to be prompted. "God, yes Alex, please."

Alex got up and grabbed the bag off the floor where it had fallen off the bed. He put the crop on the dresser and had to pause for a minute to imagine flipping Ryan over and hitting his ass till it turned red and tender, then holding him down and fucking him till he screamed. It kind of freaked him out, but by now he had come to terms with the fact that Ryan Ross made him want to do kinky shit to him. He put the ankle cuffs with the crop and took the wrist cuffs back to Ryan, who was still holding onto the post so hard his knuckles were white. "You were so good Ry," he whispered, helping Ryan unclench his hands and kissing his fingers. "You were so good for trusting me." He finished buckling the cuffs and hooked his hands behind the post with the connector.

"Thank you," Ryan said quietly, squeezing Alex's fingers.

"God, Ry," Alex bent over brushing a kiss to his mouth. "You're sure?"

"Yes." Ryan locked eyes with Alex, trying to convey just how much he wanted, needed it.

Alex straddled Ryan's chest and palmed his dick, giving it a few strokes. "Okay. Just..." he braced his hands on the headboard, one on the same post Ryan's hands were around. "If you need to stop, squeeze my hand, okay?"

"Okay, yes, yeah. Okay," Ryan said, straining up as far as he could to try and get Alex's dick in his mouth.

"Right," Alex muttered and took his other hand away from the headboard to help guide his cock into Ryan's mouth. "Fuck, Ryan," he gasped, letting his forehead thump against the headboard. He wasn't expecting Ryan to swallow him down whole right off the bat. Ryan had deep throated him before, but he didn't think that would have been enough practice to be able to do this so well - and so fast - in this position. He tried to ignore the hot burn of jealousy that went through his gut when he thought about Ryan doing this with anybody else.

He tried not to, but the thought still made him thrust further down into Ryan's throat. (Mine, a small voice thought in his head. He's mine now.) Ryan made a gagging sound and he immediately started to pull away. Ryan brushed his fingers and closed his lips around the head of his dick and sucked hard. "You want me to stop?" Ryan shook his head no as much as he could. "You want me to stop pulling out?" Alex asked carefully, like if he asked wrong Ryan really would want to stop.

Ryan just nodded and ran his tongue along the slit of Alex's dick.

"God, Ryan, fuck," Alex groaned. "Okay, okay." He sighed and lowered himself down a bit more, careful not to thrust in too hard or too deep again. "Jesus fuck, Ryan," he gasped when Ryan sucked him all the way down again. Ryan's eyes glittered and he made a pleased noise in the back of his throat. Alex moaned and Ryan did it again, drool escaping the corners of his mouth. Alex knelt up and pulled his dick out of Ryan's mouth, jerking himself furiously. "Jesus Ryan, fuck, you're so good," he babbled as he came, the first spurt hitting Ryan's still stretched mouth. "God, Ry," he slumped down, curling next to Ryan's outstretched arms and head. "You did so good Ryan, letting me come all over you." He wiped two fingers through the mess on Ryan's cheek and stuck them in Ryan's mouth. "Look so pretty," Alex murmured almost too low to hear. "Like you're mine."

Ryan's breath caught and he jerked at the cuffs like he wanted to wrap his arms around Alex. "Please," he mumbled around Alex's fingers. "Please," he gasped again after Alex took them out. "Please Alex, I want to come," he begged with no hesitation.

Alex just kissed him and wiped his fingers through the come on Ryan's face again. Then he slid his way down, pausing to give Ryan's nipples a quick bite before going down to Ryan's ass and pushing the two come slick fingers in. Ryan moaned and tried to buck his hips, but Alex threw a restraining arm across them.

"Please Alex, please. I want to come, please," Ryan begged, thrashing around.

"Okay." Alex kissed his hip and slid another finger in. "You can come." Alex watched amazed as Ryan's hips jerked again and he came without a finger on him. "Holy crap, Ry," Alex said reverently. He pulled his fingers out and grabbed Ryan's dick, sucking him through the aftershocks till he cried out and begged for him to stop. He licked the come off Ryan's quivering stomach then got up and unhooked Ryan's hands from the headboard before placing a kiss on Ryan's open mouth. Ryan moaned when Alex pushed the come into his mouth, and then again when Alex pulled away. "Don't swallow till I tell you to." Ryan nodded. "I'm just going to get a washcloth. I'll be right back." He kissed Ryan's forehead and got up to go to the bathroom.

When he came back, Ryan still had his hands above his head, but they were bent and crossed at the wrists instead of stretched straight. Alex took another minute to admire Ryan stretched out and relaxed with come all over, but still with a blissed out look on his face. He could fuck Ryan like this, he thought abruptly. Ryan would be warm and relaxed and it would be so, so easy to just push his way inside and coat Ryan inside and out with his come, to make Ryan his. His dick twitched at the idea, trying to come back to life, but he pushed the thought away, and concentrated on wiping Ryan down. He gently ran the washcloth over Ryan's stomach, but he still shuddered and moaned when he carefully washed Ryan's dick and balls. He moved up to wipe down Ryan's face, and when he was done he threw the washcloth off the bed, not caring where it landed. Finally he kissed Ryan's mouth and whispered, "You can swallow now."

"Thank you," he gasped against Alex's mouth, throwing his arms around his shoulders.

"God Ry, you don't, I would've, Jesus..." Alex babbled. He unbuckled the cuffs and rolled to put them on the side table. But when he reached to unbuckle the collar, Ryan pulled away and asked him to leave it on.

"Of course," Alex said, brushing his fingers over it and lying back down next to him.

"Your turn next," Ryan whispered to Alex as he was about to drift off.

Alex laughed and kissed him. "I love you."

"You too," Ryan smiled softly. They curled up against each other and fell asleep, hands entwined.


End file.
